psh who am I joking

hey, um

I've seen you around but like

Do i even know you?

Fuck

the last award I ever one was 3rd grade for being the fastest typer

the last time I actually deserved to make an audition was never

for every single one, it's ether because of my parent's, of begging, or sympathy

{i've never actually "deserved" something}

thanks for slapping me in the face, world

the only compliment I've received by a teacher was by Mr. McCormick when he told me that I've greatly improved on my bass clarinet and that I'll go places

see, Mr. Carlson only sees things for how they are

but Mr. McCormick, he sees what they can become

He's the only person in my entire life who's seen more in me and pushed me

He convinced me to try the bass clarinet

I didn't even see that in myself

Mr. McCormick, you are one of the only teachers I respect at this school.

it makes me laugh how invisible our friendship is to you...

...

THANKS!

an impossible feat that I repeat, an impossible feat that I repeat, an impossible feat that I repeat...

i wish i could kiss you

i wish i wouldn't have to miss you

...

i miss the road that took me somewhere

even if it was

nowhere

now there is only no where

and i can't tell if its a beautiful thing

because in no where

when there is silence

my brain floods of you

{shit, this part repeated?}

What happened?

nothing to say?

...

hmm.

(i hate getting nick picky)
(i don't think I spelled that right)
(but I don't think this is just normal)

...I think something smells fishy...

As it always does.

Wish our intentions actually happened

And didn't ramble into nothing and separation

like it is now..

so frustrating

I hate thinking about that you kissed him and that I was a possibility that never happened and will {probably} never happen.

but lets keep hope...

...

I wonder if anyone thinks about me when they can't fall asleep at night...