They Don't Use Disinfectants on those Dancing Poles

You dance all through the night

Seeing all the eyes on you

People wanting you so much

You're the focus of their mind

They become your marionettes

That it is all just a game that you have in your hand?

Huh?
I know you know that life isn't easy

So you live life to your best?
This isn't the best

Prostitution is illegal in California

And you're degrading yourself

With all this attention you bring

Saying that it's all fine

That life gives a warning at the bottom

That's not true

Usually people just look for the pretty pictures

You're life is going to crash, even though it has

That's what makes me scared

People are going to see you dance like that

And walk out without tipping you

As The Leaves and Sands Fly

I saw what I always wanted

And never could have

And I wanted to cry.

Jealousy, not in you

But in the concept, ya know?
No matter how hard I try to kid myself

Things will never happen the way it should.

You are like a bird, And You are going to Fly away. And you don't know who you mom is.

When I saw your message, I nearly shit my pants. Why? I don't remember. Oh yeah, now I do. Because you've hated me forever and I've never laughed so hard.

You asked me last year, and it wasn't fun. You just needed something to talk shit about when I wasn't listening.

And now you think I'm dumb enough to repeat?
Ha! Better luck next time

Woops, there might not be a next time.
That's good, you never gave me a next time.

I can't believe so many people fall for the same tricks.

Catching Firework Ambers

Last night, there was a dream
Or was it a nightmare
You know how you never remember those things

You were in it

That's why I can't tell

If it was a dream or a nightmare;

You took me away

To a forest

To kidnap me, eat me, love me

I felt like crying when I woke up

And I still don't remember why I did

People Pay So Much to Enter a Bubble

I haven't been to Disneyland since all hell broke loose

At least everything is settled now

Excited though

This shits been too dragged out

I'm getting a pass for senior year

I need some stability

All I want is my Rat in a Dress

Maybe I'm a little bit stressed?

I don't want the panthers to leap on me again

Just walking barefoot in the rain though

Feet brushing dew

And just wanting to get this over

Pshh, Whatever, I just want my Disneyland

I Dodge Bullets like Black Girls Hopskotching

You were the same watchman that told me to keep quiet during the day

Because that's when they are searching for us in the corridors

Now you're saying to keep the press uncensored?

I'll watch out for the cracks now on

You've now joined the attic

I don't do DUIs, I just punch you

I've wanted to do this for such a long time

And the more I think about it

The more you're starting to deserve it

Stop, Drop, and Call Suz for what you want whilte Rolling

THE SFC COOLER:

Peach Pleasure Power Size

• no banana
• no orange sherbert
• sub mango
• sub raspberry sherbert
• sub pineapple juice
• light peach blend
• extra matcha boost
• energy boost

THE SEIUZICLES WORKS HERE BREEZE:

Orchard Oasis Power Size

• no banana
• sub blackberries
• extra matcha boost
• energy boost

THE MS. MATHEW'S BELLY BUTTON RING ISN'T AS TASTY AS THIS COLADA:

Peach Pleasure Power Size

• No Orange Sherbert
• Sub Pineapple Sherbert
• Sub Raspberries
• Light Peach Slices
• Extra Matcha Boost
• Boost Energy

THE SHIT MS. MATHEWS HAS A BOYFRIEND RAINBOW CHILL:

Strawberries Wild Power Size

• No Apple Strawberry Juice
• Sub Peach Juice
• Light Strawberries
• Sub Raspberries
• No Frozen Yogurt
• Sub Pineapple Sherbert
• Extra Matcha Boost
• Boost Energy

I'm not swimming

If you're a bystander

Wondering who is the you I always talk about
I don't even know

So don't ask

Just keep on walking

If you'd like to make a call, please hang up, and try again

Hold on,

Can you just stay on the line?
Seuzical is picking up

Doing some construction

I'll brb

I do not need you to be happy

I'm going to be happy right now
In this moment

With or without you

One more rant and then i'll go back to doing homework, ok?

Shut up Flamingos, you're not bros
Talk like your fellow winged friends

Your squawks might be funny now

But I just don't want to hear it

It's hard to catch birds

Let alone punch annoying ones

I iz a half asleepies

When you get so old

And so tired

It's amazing what shit entertains you

Crushes are like Trans Fats; when you have them, your body doesn't know what to do and how to digest it, and it stays in your body forever.

I

Am

A

Clumsy

Piece

Of

Shit.

I get so frustrated with my body

With its appearance

With its lack of motivation to let me touch my toes that way or bend my leg that way or crypt walk that way.

I wish my parents let me do dancing when I was younger

Better now then never though

I've never really found myself attractive. Past lovers say that they think that that's cute about me; that I don't have any confidence when they find me so attractive. Whatever gets the ladies, like they say. HA.

I found that a lot of creepy girls have crushes on me; which is awkward. If you don't know why it is awkward, lets have a talk about that. And they don't get over me, I think. It's not like I'm cocky and saying that I have all these girls over me and I'm just breaking their hearts. Because I don't want to. They just seem so dumb to me. And I hate it because I feel like I'm fucking with people's lives like how you fuck with my life. I mean I could just be over interpreting things, but the way they look at me with their eyes is how I looked at other people when I felt the same. That I-wish-I-could-be-with-you-know-and-make-out-with-you-but-there's-no-way-in-hell-it's-ever-going-to-happen look.

I'm not looking for you, just sometimes wanting you. Whoever the hell you turn out to be.

The Action Takes Place in Willy Loman's house and yard and in various places he visits in New York and Boston of today.

We meet again;
I came back

And didn't expect to see you here again

Well

You're not taking any note of me

Investing yourself in your little play book that you're trying to get an internal rhythm to help memorize it

Death of a Salesman, huh?

Very interesting

You don't look at the flowers in life

Hmm.

That's my perspective on life

You just like to smell the flowers and keep on progressing yourself?
Well I fucking breathe these flowers

Wait a minute, pull myself together

I can't say this out loud

Composure is the game in life

Don't crack or you'll be smashed.

So lets start this over again

But this time, instead of just thinking it and trying to push it out of my throat with only weezing happening,

Say it out loud

Hello, you

How's life been for you?
Good, I'm glad

The company has been ok

Better when you were there

But still, we manage to live

(this is when you force laughter, trying to be lighthearted)

How've you been?
Oh great!

Excited for the future?

I know, I'm excited too

Well, nice seeing you again

See you again? Just call me

Or text me, that's what we do now days

Ok

Bye.

I still couldn't get the words out

Probably never will.

I just walked away, again.
Just like with everything

Humble Mumble Jumble

I decided to make my picture big today

Just something to spice up the love life of my blog

We were kind of dead for a while

But since Sunday, I feel the connection again

This is the first time I really haven't cared about finals

I'm usually in lock down mode, not even with my parents enforcing it

But now I really don't

Imagine if you went to jail

And all your friends disassociated with you

Because of what you did to get into jail

Like having some kid saying you diddled his doodler and you're a sex offender for life

And you're friends don't want to associate with a sex offender

Shit I think it was just the sight of that random picture that inspired that little random ramble

People who walk down the halls and sing on their ipods thinking they're fucking Beyoncé bug me

You're just going to be a Kelly Rowland, sorry girl

Sometimes I'm afraid I'm just going to be a Kelly, but shit man

I still got my friends

Doesn't mean I'm going to be lonely

Just not going to be "something" in this society

Well then again, I'm already doomed not to be something in this society

I mean, I can't get married

I can't be open with my parents

I'm mediocre at everything

I love Popoki, a lot.

I am Blind, Please Buy a Pencil

i'm kind of getting obsessed with blogging
people(i mean person) say I tweet too much

So this is my alternative

I hate how I can't be open
Because no one understands
Sorry

Fucking ranting is forbidden in Blogs

But required

I need to fill a stereotype

I hate how whenever you dance, the world dances

When you cry, the world cries

When you bend down, the world bows down to you

----

My parents were watching a weird ass movie last night
With Steve Martin with a huge nose

And weird shit

And he wrote these creepy love letters (I think)

To this girl
And had an alias

And he could never be with the girl because the nose
(I was waiting for it to fall off during the whole movie)

That's not the fucking point though
I feel like I just have some weird flaw

That is so obvious to everyone

And why I'm just

average

That kid you never really say anything to
I don't find myself average

I mean
I smell good, I think I dress well, I think I'm funny on occasions

But what the fuck is wrong with me

What is my erection nose?

Popoki got fucking dandruff all over my computer

Great.

What's my beauty secret? I have herpes

You don't understand (Suz) how happy I am to get a follower

After last year's shit about me blogging
I didn't really want people to read my blog
But I kind of did
It's like underwear, Victoria's Secret

Ya know?
A secret too good to keep to yourself
Yet still, a secret

:]

Happy to have one person give a fuck!
yee!

Is Tamara Here? Or Tamra?

I'm too apathetic to look for "you"

It's not like when I meet a guy, I go down a checklist to make sure they are you

But still

Kind of sick of it

I can't go around the world searching for you and look over all the people around me that mean so much to me

I'm going to kiss my friends more often
More like a gay man

People need to feel loved

Reverse Psychology

Whenever I drive by myself at night
I enter the car
And assume that someone is in my trunk
And that when I’m not looking in the mirror
(Actually I’m more afraid that I’m going to be looking in the mirror)
That somebody is going to pop up
And stab me in the middle of my driving
Causing me to crash a car
Stain the seats
And kill me

My only therapy to this phenomena is imagine you sitting next to me
And I imagine that feeling you have when you're with someone you love

(I imagine I know what that feels like)
Where you don't need to say or word
Or kiss
Or hold hands
But you feel enamored, butterflies filling up the small spaces

Just sitting there in the silence

Just the presence of you melts this fear away

The only thing is that I don't know who you are
What you look like
Anything about you
Yet it is always, you
Not Mr. You in the past
But someone in the future, predestined for me for later

But then again, you don't exist now
And nobody is going to love me in that way anytime soon
And probably nobody is going to care enough about me enough to murder me

But at least we got friends for us, aye?