Friday, April 9, 2010

Genie.

i thought i knew what jealousy meant
i did have the definition on flash cards that I reviewed once in a while
but now, I fucking have it MEMORIZED
the kind of memorization that you can't FORGET once it's in your head

I see moments, of when it could of been perfect
IT COULD OF BEEN FUCKING PERFECT
but no, it was me
i forgot
I'm a monster
I'm a freak show
I'm the elephant man
Yet, I'm not the elephant man
So aren't you.
So aren't you
that's what I hate the most
its always
ME
that fucks things up
fucking
ME
ME
ME
and now
I see you
with the world in your hands
with your skinny, attractive body
getting the 3 things
A. The one who destiny divided our reach
2. The one that everything will be unrequited with
D. The one I will never get but always want

And I see you
Not just reaching and grasping
But puppeting
FUCKING PUPPETING
MOTHER FUCKING PUPPETING AND CONTROL AND GETTING EVERYTHING YOU WANT OUT OF LIFE IN THE 3 THINGS I NEVER COULD HAVE WHY SO THAT YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL CAN'T YOU JUST EVEN SPARE ONE?

...
...
{end of breakdown scene}

...

Can we just pretend that never happened?
Because you 3 do.
You pretend I never existed
And I continue to just pretend everything actually happened.

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