Genie.

i thought i knew what jealousy meant

i did have the definition on flash cards that I reviewed once in a while

but now, I fucking have it MEMORIZED

the kind of memorization that you can't FORGET once it's in your head

I see moments, of when it could of been perfect
IT COULD OF BEEN FUCKING PERFECT

but no, it was me

i forgot

I'm a monster
I'm a freak show
I'm the elephant man

Yet, I'm not the elephant man

So aren't you.

So aren't you

that's what I hate the most

its always

ME

that fucks things up

fucking

ME

ME

ME

and now

I see you

with the world in your hands

with your skinny, attractive body

getting the 3 things

A. The one who destiny divided our reach

2. The one that everything will be unrequited with

D. The one I will never get but always want

And I see you

Not just reaching and grasping
But puppeting

FUCKING PUPPETING

MOTHER FUCKING PUPPETING AND CONTROL AND GETTING EVERYTHING YOU WANT OUT OF LIFE IN THE 3 THINGS I NEVER COULD HAVE WHY SO THAT YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL CAN'T YOU JUST EVEN SPARE ONE?

...

...

{end of breakdown scene}

...

Can we just pretend that never happened?

Because you 3 do.

You pretend I never existed

And I continue to just pretend everything actually happened.