Popoki

Dear Life,

I am so stressed to the point where I can't make full sentences, I can' try on that pair of shoes for you Mom, I can't hand the future, I can't handle what's a head of me, I can't remember these damn scales, I can't handle you getting mad at me, I can't handle when you look at me with disappointment, I can't handle wanting someone to love but can't, I can't handle life giving me contradictions, I can't handle wanting to hear God but feeling nothing, I can't handle friends slipping away, I can't handle breathing, I can't handle not sleeping, I can't handle these monotonous days, I can't handle not seeing an end to everything, I can't handle pretending every day, I can't handle you not being my friend, I can't handle feeling fat every day, I can't handle people being over bearing and yet knowing I'm over bearing myself, I can't handle feeling like a freak, I can't handle the fact that my life is a car crash, I can't handle not being depressed and yet not happy, I can't handle not being free, I can't handle not going to SC this Friday, I can't handle waking up at 5:50 every morning, I can't handle turning 18 in 30 days, I can't handle the fact that you have everything I want and stealing everything that's precious to me, I can't handle you telling me I need someone in the future, I can't handle not knowing what direction I should go, I can't handle SHIT.

This isn't depression, its a breakdown

A butterfly flying so fast its crumbling it's own wings.